The Director’s Notebook - BBTF 9 brevcHacHi

 Uh…huh?  Did I hear you right? What??? Director???!!! Oh no, no, no, no!  I can’t.  Not me!

The greatest challenge as a Brev for me since I came back after my five years stay in Cebu was being appointed suddenly as director for Brevstock 8 and 9^th Breviarian Big Tent Festival to replace Brev Ricardo who got a job outside the country.  As much as I tried to make an objection against this crazy appointment, in the end, I lost my case due to a simple order of…OBEDIENCE.

After series of struggles and endless nightly tears begging the Lord for the grace to accept the so called “Director” title, I was pierced by the thought that the Lord was actually giving me a chance to serve Him during these last days of my life here on earth.  After having felt His mercy and love, how can I refuse to serve?  So I finally asked the Lord to forgive me and told Him to take control…that I may be His puppet.  I was clueless on what I was supposed to do.  All I had were my ideals and my hopes for the two major activities.

Anyways, to cut the dramatic story short and fast forward it to BBTF 9, you would have heard Brev Buttercup asking me a few days before the Big Tent Festival, “how could you be so calm about everything when the Big Tent is fast approaching?”  I told him, “It is not my project, it is the Lord’s.  Kaya bahala na Siya.”  Yeap!  I simply gave the Lord the authority to manage everything. And it worked!

Come to think of it…how could we have pushed through with this project when we only had 5 Easter Carols that year?  Out of 60 plus Adopt-a-Brev solicitation letters, only 4 were returned?  How much would we have to raise just to finance the whole 5 days with all those expenses?  Well that is financially speaking.  We have the source of all the riches in the universe – God. So how could we possibly fail?  “Be not afraid,”  He said.  We did survive the Big Tent with our stomachs full and without any payables.  Thanks to so many generous hearts.  Praise God!

I was away for almost 5 years and organizing such a big event was just a memory for me.  I had to recall everything but my small mind can not just recover all at the same time what I have stored in my recycle bin.  I would need a dream team to work according to what I would have wanted it to be.  “O Lord, give me the perfect staff who would have the knowledge to things the way I wanted it done…er…I mean…the way YOU wanted it done.” J  Besides, I don’t think I was born a leader!  I’m more of an effective and efficient follower.  Yeah…a follower – someone who simply obeys and carry out orders.  (hey, cHacHi, is it not that a leader is a follower of Christ?)

Hmm…Oh well, that was not really much of a problem because lo and behold!  I actually had the best team a director could ever wish for.  I had a team of experienced Camp Directors who knew what they had to do.  So I was just a parrot reminding them of their duties (actually just trying to act like a real director. hehe!.)  Whew!  That was a big baggage off my back. J  Thank you, fellow Brev Shepherds!  You really did a great job.  Love you always!

“Oh, and Lord, what about my leave?  I filed those weeks ago even before any other colleagues could get my slot yet they only approved theirs?   The speakers, Lord, are they the right people?  The schedule, Lord.  I hate it when it is not followed.  And about the *many other little details*…what am I going to do with them?”  These were just some of my many anxieties that I lifted up to the Lord every time I would feel that something was about to go wrong, that is, in my own perspective.  Nevertheless, the Most Holy Adoration Tent was my only refuge.  After I had pleaded all, my last words would always be, “Your will be done, not mine.  You allowed it and so be it.”  And I would come out ready to stand up and face everything bravely for I knew  mine.  You allowed it adn  my s not followed.  and ues it not that a leader is a followerHe was with me.  He really fixed them all.

To sum it all up, it was not so bad to be a director after all.  Ahem!  After all, we did have a successful camp.  More young people, including us, were inspired and are now on fire.  We even had CBCP affirm it as a prelude to World Youth Day. (thanks again Fr. Mickey).  But of course, more than the success, the overwhelming love of God manifested during the preparations and staging of this camp is the greatest treasure I would carry in my BBTF 9 memory.  Through this camp, I learned that to be a leader simply means being a puppet of God and making Him do the decision making and for us not exhausting all human efforts ending up in stress.  It is a matter of TOTAL SURRENDER AND OBEDIENCE.  Our only extra effort is to motivate others to move out of love by being a person of love.

So if asked to be a head/director/leader of another Brev Activity, of course my answer will definitely still be a NO!  But then again, HIS WILL BE DONE…NOT MINE. 

Forever praise and glory to our Lord Jesus.  Thanks and honor be to our dear Mama Mary.