Uh…huh? Did I hear you right? What??? Director???!!! Oh
no, no, no, no! I can’t. Not me!
The greatest
challenge as a Brev for me since I came back after my five years stay in Cebu was being appointed suddenly as director for
Brevstock 8 and 9th Breviarian Big Tent Festival to replace Brev
Ricardo who got a job outside the country.
As much as I tried to make an objection against this crazy appointment,
in the end, I lost my case due to a simple order of…OBEDIENCE.
After series of
struggles and endless nightly tears begging the Lord for the grace to accept
the so called “Director” title, I was pierced by the thought that the Lord was
actually giving me a chance to serve Him during these last days of my life here
on earth. After having felt His mercy
and love, how can I refuse to serve? So
I finally asked the Lord to forgive me and told Him to take control…that I may
be His puppet. I was clueless on what I
was supposed to do. All I had were my
ideals and my hopes for the two major activities.
Anyways, to cut
the dramatic story short and fast forward it to BBTF 9, you would have heard
Brev Buttercup asking me a few days before the Big Tent Festival, “how could
you be so calm about everything when the Big Tent is fast approaching?” I told him, “It is not my project, it is the Lord’s.
Kaya bahala na Siya.” Yeap!
I simply gave the Lord the authority to manage everything. And it
worked!
Come to think of
it…how could we have pushed through with this project when we only had 5 Easter
Carols that year? Out of 60 plus
Adopt-a-Brev solicitation letters, only 4 were returned? How much would we have to raise just to
finance the whole 5 days with all those expenses? Well that is financially speaking. We have the source of all the riches in the
universe – God. So how could we possibly fail?
“Be not afraid,” He said. We did survive the Big Tent with our stomachs
full and without any payables. Thanks to
so many generous hearts. Praise God!
I was away for
almost 5 years and organizing such a big event was just a memory for me. I had to recall everything but my small mind
can not just recover all at the same time what I have stored in my recycle
bin. I would need a dream team to work
according to what I would have wanted it to be.
“O Lord, give me the perfect staff who would have the knowledge to
things the way I wanted it done…er…I mean…the way YOU wanted it done.” J Besides, I don’t think I was
born a leader! I’m more of an effective and
efficient follower. Yeah…a follower –
someone who simply obeys and carry out orders.
(hey, cHacHi, is it not that a leader is a follower of Christ?)
Hmm…Oh well,
that was not really much of a problem because lo and behold! I actually had the best team a director could
ever wish for. I had a team of
experienced Camp Directors
“Oh, and Lord,
what about my leave? I filed those weeks
ago even before any other colleagues could get my slot yet they only approved theirs? The speakers, Lord, are they the right
people? The schedule, Lord. I hate it when it is not followed. And about the *many other little
details*…what am I going to do with them?”
These were just some of my many anxieties that I lifted up to the Lord
every time I would feel that something was about to go wrong, that is, in my
own perspective. Nevertheless, the Most
Holy Adoration Tent was my only refuge.
After I had pleaded all, my last words would always be, “Your will be
done, not mine. You allowed it and so be
it.” And I would come out ready to stand
up and face everything bravely for I knew He
was with me. He really fixed them all.
To sum it all
up, it was not so bad to be a director after all. Ahem! After
all, we did have a successful camp. More
young people, including us, were inspired and are now on fire. We even had CBCP affirm it as a prelude to
World Youth Day. (thanks again Fr. Mickey).
But of course, more than the success, the overwhelming love of God
manifested during the preparations and staging of this camp is the greatest
treasure I would carry in my BBTF 9 memory.
Through this camp, I learned that to be a leader simply means being a
puppet of God and making Him do the decision making and for us not exhausting
all human efforts ending up in stress.
It is a matter of TOTAL SURRENDER AND OBEDIENCE. Our only extra effort is to motivate others
to move out of love by being a person of love.
So if asked to
be a head/director/leader of another Brev Activity, of course my answer will
definitely still be a NO! But then again,
HIS WILL BE DONE…NOT MINE.
Forever praise
and glory to our Lord Jesus. Thanks and
honor be to our dear Mama Mary.
